Friday, September 11, 2009
wow
life is stressful. i feel like im far below rock bottom. its like nothing can go right. im still looking for a job. i swear it is impossible to find one. i have applyed to so many places and ive even applyed more than once to a lot of places and no one is hiring. the only places i can think of are phone jobs. and im really scared to get one of those because i know i couldnt do it. i could not sit there and listen to people drag on about stupid things. but im worried i might have to, i just know that i wont be able to keep it and i need a job i can keep. it feels like i am just dead. dead to everything. the world is like falling down around me and im sitting back in a freakin lawn chair and watching it all happen. i feel like things are just getting harder and harder. i thought getting school out of the way was going to help. and shit got worse. and to make everything worse i broke a freakin string on my guitar. that pissed me off. yay for being at the bottom of the ocean and not being able to breathe. i just dont know how much more of this i can take. im trying so hard to just swim up to the surface but i cant even see it anymore. i cant wait for things to finally start going right and finally feel good about myself. well im off to bed to so i can wake up for another stressful day. what else lies ahead for me i wonder. sorry for this depressing and long and probably boring blog. but i needed to just babble on about my boring and dull life. most of this is just feelings because im deep in depression and i dont mean a lot of it. but its just what comes out of the top of my head.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Richard. As your sister, I am aloud the opportunity to tell you how you can not feel like you are dead. and I know that it is going to sound like i'm preaching, and guess what, I think its time to do so. because I love you. and I want what is best for you. I know you don't believe it. But I KNOW that there is a way you won't feel like that. I guarantee that even if you get a job, you will still feel like that, because there is something missing in your life. and I know you Know what it is, and that is why you feel so lost. There is someone who can help you, you just need to get on your knees, and truly believe he is there and he will help you Richard. I know it. I love you, and I want to help you so bad.
I feel terrible for how depressed you have been lately. I have felt that way rich. and its seriously because I wasn't living right. Its amazing how much the gospel helps me and Shawn in our lives.
Talk to Shawn. Honestly he hit rock bottom, in a different way, and he can tell you about it. but he found his way back, and now look at him. He is soooo happy (and thats not just because he has me as a wife:) ) and things work our for us, because we are living right, and we believe, and have faith.
Richard. Please don't take this personally. I think we should talk. YOu need to come to my house some night so we can talk. you need it. and I would love to talk to you. I love you.
Richard,
Life sucks.. I will be the first to tell you that. I have hit rock bottom before many times but have found myself back each time! Life isn't easy.. I don't think it is suppose to be. We all have our trials in life! I know i have! I have to agree with what alicia said. as much as you hate hearing it! but, You are the only one that can make your choices and your feeelings go away! You have the power yourself to do whatever and not Alicia, or I can change that! Just know this.. Mike and I love you very much and we want the best for you! If you EVER need anything or want to talk... you better know that Mike or I or both of us at the same time is here for you! Life isn't suppose to be a happy one all the time. For some reason, you getting a job is really hard.. I don't know why? IT's not right! and it's making you sad and depressed. Everyone has there problems. Just know you are not the only one going through this! Life will always through you Lemons. that is why you need to make lemonaide! be strong and keep your head held HIGH! :) We love you! my Kids love you! Tyler and Zack look up to you! They want to be just like you! Remember that! :)
Love you baby bro!
I totally know where you are coming from. At times I feel the same way. Just know that life does get better - hang on to that hope. Oft times it's the darkest right before the light comes.
Post a Comment