epic

so its like im not suppose to be happy for one freakin second. yesterday i got this amazing news, it was a very very good opertunity for my band. and that was the first time i have been truly happy in monthes. it felt so good and i loved it. but today my happienss was shot down because i got in a stupid freakin car accident. of course. story of my life. things just have to get worse and worse.

sorry

im sorry that all my blogs latley are just me ranting on about my stupid boring life and how im depressed but thats all i got to talk about. just when it seems my life couldnt get any worse. it does. i have found out some very hard facts tonight. and it has made me wonder why all of this is happening to me. i used to know what happiness was. why is my whole life filled with this. its like i cant excape sadness for more than 5 seconds. its like im not allowed to be happy, im not allowed to have anything i want. what i want is far from my reach and i will never ever be able to get it back. it is long gone. and i hate it. i hate thinking about it so much. i have lost someone in my life that was so important to me and i cant get it out of my head. it is by far the hardest thing i have ever gone through in my life. hands down. nothing seems to be getting better. even though everyone says, dont worry just let time do its thing and everything will be better. its not the end of the world. well in my eyes it is. how much more time can i wait for things to get better. because ive been waiting, ive been letting time go by, and things arnt getting better, they are getting worse and worse as time goes by. im sorry this is all i talk about, but this is how i get out my emotion. i just dont know what else to do.