KITTY

so most of you have probably heard me talking about me having a kitty. and you probably didnt believe me. well, i now have proof! she lives with my friend though since mom wont let me bring her home haha :( oh well i will take her with me when i move out. well here is some pictures of my gorgeous kitty marilyn.i love her :) shes so freakin cute. she falls asleep on me all the time its funny. well theres my kitty. isnt she adorable? i never thought i could love an animal so much but she proved to me that i could.

epic

so its like im not suppose to be happy for one freakin second. yesterday i got this amazing news, it was a very very good opertunity for my band. and that was the first time i have been truly happy in monthes. it felt so good and i loved it. but today my happienss was shot down because i got in a stupid freakin car accident. of course. story of my life. things just have to get worse and worse.

sorry

im sorry that all my blogs latley are just me ranting on about my stupid boring life and how im depressed but thats all i got to talk about. just when it seems my life couldnt get any worse. it does. i have found out some very hard facts tonight. and it has made me wonder why all of this is happening to me. i used to know what happiness was. why is my whole life filled with this. its like i cant excape sadness for more than 5 seconds. its like im not allowed to be happy, im not allowed to have anything i want. what i want is far from my reach and i will never ever be able to get it back. it is long gone. and i hate it. i hate thinking about it so much. i have lost someone in my life that was so important to me and i cant get it out of my head. it is by far the hardest thing i have ever gone through in my life. hands down. nothing seems to be getting better. even though everyone says, dont worry just let time do its thing and everything will be better. its not the end of the world. well in my eyes it is. how much more time can i wait for things to get better. because ive been waiting, ive been letting time go by, and things arnt getting better, they are getting worse and worse as time goes by. im sorry this is all i talk about, but this is how i get out my emotion. i just dont know what else to do.

yep

so ive been working at burlington for like 3 weeks now i think. and its fun. of course it sucks because its work and everyone hates work. but its not bad at all. the best part of it is the people i work with. they are all so freakin cool and layed back. its awsome. thats what makes the job worth it. i just hope that after the season they keep me and give me a raise or something. because i really dont want to get another job. but i need more money. im not living here forever. well anyways. my job is the only good thing going in my life right now. everything else is still just a huge pile of shit.

TURNING ON ANOTHER ROAD

so ive been going though a lot of crap the last couple months. trying to figure a lot of things out and just random things poping up in the way. first matter. my band is now broken up. that band is no more and is left in the past. the times were amazing and awsome and i wouldnt trade it for anything. its sad to see it go but better things lay ahead. im now playing music with my best friend alex. im sure you guys dont like him very much, but give him a chance. look past the makeup and how he dresses. think about it i dress the same way i just dont wear makeup. hes a good kid, dont judge before you know him. but anyways. me and him are writing music that is very different from what we were doing before and its amazing. we are looking for new members and we have big goals that will be reached you just wait. im not sure if anyone cares about this but im telling you anyways. so that is what is going on with music in my life. next thing. i finally have something that i have been searching for for a very long time. I HAVE A JOB. i work at burlington coat factory and i will be going in tomorrow for orientation. well technacly today because its three in morning but yeah whatever. im excited. i cant wait to get money yayy! there are still holes in my life that need to be filled. but all in good time. but i finally caught my break with this job and so things are looking up just a little bit. and so i am going down a new road in life and im excited for a change. so that is my life so far. oh yeah and allison i need a hair trim soon. :)

so.......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY.....MEEEEEEEE.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!

wow

life is stressful. i feel like im far below rock bottom. its like nothing can go right. im still looking for a job. i swear it is impossible to find one. i have applyed to so many places and ive even applyed more than once to a lot of places and no one is hiring. the only places i can think of are phone jobs. and im really scared to get one of those because i know i couldnt do it. i could not sit there and listen to people drag on about stupid things. but im worried i might have to, i just know that i wont be able to keep it and i need a job i can keep. it feels like i am just dead. dead to everything. the world is like falling down around me and im sitting back in a freakin lawn chair and watching it all happen. i feel like things are just getting harder and harder. i thought getting school out of the way was going to help. and shit got worse. and to make everything worse i broke a freakin string on my guitar. that pissed me off. yay for being at the bottom of the ocean and not being able to breathe. i just dont know how much more of this i can take. im trying so hard to just swim up to the surface but i cant even see it anymore. i cant wait for things to finally start going right and finally feel good about myself. well im off to bed to so i can wake up for another stressful day. what else lies ahead for me i wonder. sorry for this depressing and long and probably boring blog. but i needed to just babble on about my boring and dull life. most of this is just feelings because im deep in depression and i dont mean a lot of it. but its just what comes out of the top of my head.

NEW CAR

i have a new car yayyyyyy!!! its freakin awsome i love it. wanna know the cool thing about it? this car could actually make it out of state and back. CRAZY HUH! its freaking awsome. and my parents are freakin awsome for getting it for me. well. its our car. haha but when i get a job im gunna be making payments on it monthly to pay them back. and when im finally done paying it will be my car :) thanks to laurie's sister because shes the one who was selling the car and thanks to brandon for being the middle mad haha. im not gunna post any pictures of it because im to lazy. you will just have to come see it for yourself.

THANK YOU

Thank you everyone for coming to my graduation and for the presents you got me. thanks a whole whole bunch! it really means a lot. honestly i never thought i would finish high school. ever since elementary school i didnt think i would be able to finish. i was so pissed off in 11th grade at how the school was doing things that i was really close to just saying screw it im done. well i did say that but i never went through with it. i did get the papers from the counclers to. but i decided to just stick with it. and now im glad i did. thank you again!!

alicia and shawn this is for you!

WE BEAT YOU GUYS FAIR AND SQUARE! me and mike are just to good at everything to loose :) muahahaha. we are unstopable. we was on FIRE!!!

VERY IMPORTANT NEWS!!!

My fellow Americans. Yesterday something happened that will change history forever. It will Change the future for a certain person for the rest of his life. It will always be a moment to charish, and look back on and say hell yeah in your face to everyone who didnt think i could do it. Yesterday i finished mother freakin high school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAS UP?!?!?! BAM!!!!

EVERYONE CELEBRATE!!!

FOR THE NEW AIDEN CD COMING OUT TODAY!!!!!!

i know most of you dont care. but i do haha. and i have a boring life so this is what i blog about. YAYY IM SO EXCITED TO GET IT!!!

THE SHOW

WAS FREAKIN AMAZING!! i was sick. but i wasnt achy all over so thats good. but the show was so amazing. there was a lot more people there than i thought there was going to be. especially because it was in nephi. but there was a lot of people there and the crowed LOVED us. not to brag but it was awsome. they cheered so loud after every song. and a lot of people remembered the old songs we used to play before we broke up. they would cheer when they would hear the name of the next song if they knew it and it felt so good. it felt so right to be up on that stage. i cant wait to get bigger and do it for bigger crowds. its gunna be so amazing. but yeah moral of this blog, the show was amazing.

of course

so i have a show with my band tomorrow. its really important because its our first one since the break up. and a few days ago everyone started getting sick. so i was like oh freakin crap i better not get it. and i was doing a lot to stay away from the sickness and crap, taking vitamin c and everything. i thought i was gunna be good and i just kept telling myself i wont get sick. well....guess what. im sick. BUT its not that bad. at least not yet and im really really hoping it doesnt get any worse. last night i barley slept at all probably only 20 minuets and then i was tossing and turning all night because my body was so achy. it feels like i have a fever but without being really hot or really cold. it felt like i was going to throw up for a little bit but im pretty sure that was just me worrying that i was going to. because i dont feel like that at all anymore. but my stomach is also empty. but hopefully i wont throw up or anything like that. because i really need to be better by tomorrow. story of my life....

oopsy

on that last blog. i meant pull ups. not push ups. i can do more push ups. maybe ill have to bet dad about that to. muahaha

finally a break

So last night i got to go on a date with heidi. its been a while since neither of us have jobs haha. but luckily i got 20 bucks the other day from dad because he bet me 20 bucks that i couldnt do 10 push ups and i proved him wrong. so we went out to eat at this really nice restaurant called wendys. it was delicious. then we went to the movie taken. that movies is freakin awsome, i have a feeling i might go see it again when it comes in the dollar movies. if you havnt seen it i strongly recomend it. so it was really nice to get away from all the stress of the world. we both needed it pretty bad. but that was our day, it was awsome.

???

so im sorry i dont blog very much. i just never have anything to blog about. im still jobless because nowhere is hiring. and its gay. i still dont have a car which is frustrating. life is just kinda going really really slow right now. not many things are looking very good. but hopefully things will pick up and get going better soon. ummmm my band is playing a show on march 28th in nephi. and hopefully one before then we just cant find a venue. and ummmm i have nothing else to say

10 things that bug me

1. PEOPLE!!!
2.not being able to find a job
3. drama
4. when i hurt someones feelings that is close to me
5.when i am stuck writing music and cant think of what to do with it
6.people
7.people
8.people
9. not feeling good.
10. bugs

i tag anyone who wants to do this.

would you? huh?

so ive probably told you guys before that im doing an acoustic solo project right? yeah i probably have because i always talk about music haha. ive only got a few songs done but im going to be working harder on it and im probably going to play an acoustic show at a place called muse music in provo. it might be a while. but i was wondering if anyone would like to go? i know you guys wouldnt like that kind of environment because usually at shows people smoke and swear and blah blah. but i dont scream in my acoustic stuff so you might like it haha. but ill post the details when i actually get ready for it. im just wondering if any of you guys would go. but dont feel obligated to because you dont have to. im just wondering